Post-MDIS Days So Far

It has been 9 days since the last day of school. It has been 9 days since the end of a 1.25 years period in MDIS. It was surreal - just like how I felt when my days at my primary and secondary school ended. And right now, I am swimming in the night sky - groping my way objectivelessly around a pitch dark environment. There remains a few months before I get pulled into NS. And I don't really have an idea of how I can spend these few months meaningfully.

For the past 9 days, I have been going out with my friends daily. On days where there was money to be spared, it was fun. On days where there was little in the wallet, it was relatively boring. You see, there isn't really a whole lot of enjoyable things you can do in Singapore - unless you are willing to spend a considerable amount. An example of a really really enjoyable day would be to dine at a restaurant, put all that awesome food down my digestion system before window shopping and rounding off the day with a movie at my favourite cinema (Cathay Orchard Cineleisure or Shaw Lido). Another really really enjoyable day would be to spend the day at the beach or any of the theme parks. Well, I am just listing down some of the more enjoyable days I have spent within the past 9 days. Of course, if I have $160 to play paintball for a day or $50 to ride 40 minutes' worth of Go-kart, the day would be really really enjoyable too. And why not go on a holiday if I have more money to spare? How I wish I could spend every day of my life before NS doing these stuffs. That would be nice, but the costs are unimaginably high. What's a budget-centric me got to do? I want to dine at a restaurant every day, I want to catch a movie at my favourite cinema every day, I want to spend time at the theme park every day, but all that'd be impossible.

When the time calls for it, it's possible to scrimp - at the expense of more boring days. I love my fast food and some lower-cost food so eating these instead of restaurant wonders is still acceptable. When the budget calls for tighter constraints, playing video games with my friends does well to substitute catching movies at my favourite cinemas. Of course I do enjoy activities like swimming and cycling from time to time too. Well, that's about it. That's what I can do if I am out with a smaller budget, which is true for 25% of the times.

Let's face it, Singapore is a ridiculously boring place. 9 days since the last day of school and it's easy to see that. Almost every other day, I find myself traveling to or past the same locations and walking through the same few shopping malls. It's not that terrible, especially when you have close friends whom you can talk to on and on all day, but in an extended run, waking up to another day where I find myself not knowing how to spend the day meaningfully, or at least enjoyably, may drive me nuts. And so we are brought back to the fact that Singapore is indeed a boring place.

Thus far, I have been talking about the activity aspect of my post-MDIS life. The other aspect to my post MDIS-life would be the people aspect, I suppose? It takes only 9 days to realise who I will maintain contact with for the future. There isn't really a need to keep in touch with that many people so yeah, it's expected that the number of people whom I keep in touch with after the last day of school is small - I'll never forget my close friends. There are others, however, whom I want so much to keep in touch with, but come to think of it, I am perhaps asking for the implausible. It's implausible to ask for contact with these 2 persons because I seldom hang out with them after classes during the MDIS days, so wouldn't it be odd if I suddenly ask for a meeting? The fact that these 2 persons are females further exacerbates my wishes. It's hardly imaginable these days that persons of opposite genders will meet regularly without any motives (So YES, persons of opposite genders who meet regularly usually have objectives). Hey, I am being practical here. And it seems that the situation will remain just this way.

Why Some Schools and Lecturers are Flawed

Studying for exams is bad enough. Starting to study for exams a few days prior to the paper is worse. But can you blame me for that - for only starting to study a few days before I sit for the paper? No, you can't. What's the point of early revision? Wait, let's look at the bigger picture. What's the point of exams, anyways? Aren't they just memory tests? You memorise the information and you spit out the data when answering the questions. That's exams. So what's the point of early revision when all that you've been working for is an exercise in memory? Won't you just forget the information were you to start revising early? So now you know why I always begin to study a few days prior to my paper.

Sorry for the digression. And yeah, I was mentionin that starting to study for exams a few days prior to the paper is worse. But the pages of a thousand scattered sentences is worst! Now, that may sound confusing but allow me to explain. What I am saying is that the coursebooks and lecturers' notes are all haphazardly done - something that I have noticed for the past year. Wait, I need more paragraphs to rant about this.

Alrite, there's rich information, but problem is: They are scattered all over the book - yes, like a jigsaw puzzle - meaning they are utterly unorganised. Points that belong to a certain section can suddenly pop up in another unrelated section and that brings unnecessary trouble during my revision. I have to flip through the pages of the coursebook and scan through each page carefully for any 'hidden' points that don't belong where they are located. It's because of this that I have to make my own notes - it's because the coursebook is just so damn unorganised!

That's not the only problem with the coursebook and lecturers' notes. More often than not, I would find overlapping points here and there - or elaborated points which just don't rhythm with the main headings. These make me go, "Hey, is this sentence supposed to be here at all!" I aren't even sure whether I would be right if I really do write the given points down in my paper. And when there are no overlapping points or displaced sentences, there are sentences which just do not make a whole lot of sense, but fortunately, those instances are rare.

So you thought that everything's been resolved. NO! The English written in the coursebooks and lecturers' notes are absolutely terrible. There are several mistakes - here, there and everywhere - and when read, these mistakes make the sentences sound like they were being written by some drunkard or kid. Often times do I find incohesive sentences as well.

Simply put, coursebooks and lectuers' notes are just unreliable. Granted, they provide the ingredients for a well-done exam, but they sure like to shove raw ingredients to me. Now, not only do I have to cook these ingredients, but also combine them and cook them again so that I can attain a respectable dish. All these make studying for exams more of a chore than a practice. I wouldn't mind it were the exams testing us on concepts and creativity (then yes, that's the way we are supposed to study for exams - we need to make a good dish), but HEY, the DAMN EXAMS NOW are testing our memories, not our concepts or creativity (so the dish needs to be pre-cooked for us on a plate).

Don't you get it? It depends on the objective of the exams. If you are going to test our memory, you have better give us a dish to swallow so that we know how it tastes like and will be able to tell you how it tastes like when you ask us. If you are going to test our intelligence (note: testing for memory is not testing for intelligence), then you are allowed to give us only the ingredients and tell us to make a dish from those ingredients.

SOME SCHOOL AND LECTURERS DON'T KNOW THE OBJECTIVES OF THEIR EXAMS! So of course, they administer the wrong treatment. This is soooo flawed and will forever be because they just refuse to admit that they are wrong.

This will be my last exams. Well, lucky. Anyways, I don't really have the energy to carry on with this flawed system anymore. So yes, lucky that this round of exams will be my last.

The Last Hump Before the End

The looming project deadlines gave me immense, yet constant pressure for the past few weeks. Due to the great demands of both projects, I had never felt compelled to begin with either until the last 2 weeks leading to the deadline of the projects. Certainly, I was lazy, but that did not mean I put in any less effort when doing the projects.

Again, I recalled flashes of my less-than-desired academic life at my poly when I received my results for one particular project. Due to the confidential nature that comes with this topic, I shall not reveal too much BUT I dare say that beneath all the supposedly fair marking of projects, there remain some lecturers who are biased in their marking, often resorting to cheap underhand tactics and tricks to undermine our talents and efforts to deliver an under-considered, crappy score - something that is a crushing blow to our dignities. It wasn't my 1st encounter with such a unjust lecturer - and it wouldn't be my last. But I am surprised that depsite the ostensibly 'fair' system that our education industry in Singapore adopts, there remain a few black sheeps.

And what can we do about the situation? Absolutely nothing. It's like the customer service line - Customers are always right. But in this case, lecturers are always right. So they can be nigh unjust in their marking and we can do nothing about it. How do they cover this up? Simple. They employ a lack of transparency in their marking and fail to coherently list out any of marking criteria. When questioned, they exercise manipulation by adopting an intimidating stance via the exploitation of authority and skillfully evading questions and changing subjects. How disappointing. That the good students don't always get the marks they deserve.

Needless to say, there are other lecturers whose flaws in their markings are nothing short of being obvious. Extra work and effort don't always get recognised, nor do some abilities. But at least, the marks administered are respectable (though I expect more for all the effort that I put into my work and the final quality of the work).

But what can we do?

2009

2008 would cease to exist soon, sealed away in a memory capsule and suspended within the realms of my mind. 2008 holds many beautiful memories, but the past is past, and what I would like to do now is to work my way towards what needs to be done in 2009.

Come to think of it, 2009 seems more like a predictable year for me. I am going to finish my last 3 weeks in MDIS, take the exams and work on my grauduation project - and that's it. After that, I would be aimless till mid-2011. Waiting for NS is being aimless. Being drawn into NS is being aimless. Serving NS is aimless - well, at least when I put it in line with my desired career path and future. Predictable, isn't it?

But if there's anything which history has taught me, it is the fact that life is full of surprises. At this time last year, December 30 2007, I thought that 2008 would be 'just another year'. Well, it seemed like it would be 'just another year' 2 months into 2008, but surprises - both big and small - started popping out gradually throughout the year and there was a drastic change in my life. Certainly, I surprised myself a few times during the year by putting in great effort to do things I wouldn't imagine myself to be going before. But on a few occasions, I was surprised at how nature turned things out for me - so much so that till today, I couldn't comprehend how I could ever come to possess or accomplish some of the things I have now. Life's a path full of surprises, really.

Well, then I shall quit guesssing what nature has in store for me in 2009 since they are meant to be surprises anyways. Let's guess what will become of the things that I have more direct control over. Yeah, one of them is my results. 2008 gave me some of the sweetest academic dreams of my life, and here's hoping I could continue to do my best and achieve the same kind of results in the last 3 exams of my MDIS life and my graduation project. The other thing that I hope to achive in 2009 is a better body - literally. Well, I am certainly going to fulfill that in NS, if not before NS. So far, results and body are the only things I can think about as they are continuations of what I have achieved in 2008. What new things do 2009 have in store for me? Well, that's anyone's guess.

Another thing I can be sure of in 2009 is the beginning of a new journey. My MDIS life started in November 2007 and it's going to end January 2009. How much would my life change post-MDIS? There will no longer be classes, nor do I get the chance to meet my friend every day anymore. Every journey means a different thing for me. The MDIS journey is one of learning, discovery and joy. What is the post-MDIS journey made of? How will I spend my days waiting for NS? How will my NS life be? How would my life turn out in the next few months? No one knows. It's the mystery of life surprises that make 2008's countdown a really happy affair.

And as 2009 comes, I will - bit by bit - uncover life's little and giant surprises as I travel through the months. At the same time, I will make my own surprises. Together, life's a box of mystery because I don't really have any tangible idea of what 2009 will be like.

2009. What memories would I hold on December 30 2009?

The Prince and the Pauper

I thought I was the only one. I was wrong. I thought that those who were successful in the past would be successful forever. I was wrong. I thought that those who were failures in the past would be failures forever. I was wrong.

A meeting with a former classmate from secondary school today made me realise it. In the midst of all the catching-up, sharing of joys and just chatting, I realised a very simple fact: Life is never consistent. At some point in every person's life, there is bound to be a turning point - no matter how subtle or drastic it is. You see, we both updated each other on what we know of our former classmates and I realised that some former classmates are doing exceptionally well now (Getting outstanding academic results, having joyful relationships and just enjoying life in their respective schools), while some are going through a very bad patch (Getting poor results, fails inclusive, having no objectives and directions in life, confusion over what they want). I would categorise both the former classmate I met up with and I in the former category as life has really been looking up for both of us.

How things have changed for me. Pauper for the last 7 years, I finally met my turning point at MDIS. Well, from the 1st day in MDIS, my life would change forever. I changed my academic results, personality, social life and physical appearance. I am proud of what I have changed and achieved this year. Once a guy on a steep downward slide towards the abyss, it seems that something divine has bended the curve and provided an equally steep (as in a really great rise) way up for me.

Everyone has a turning point in life. I once thought that I would forever be branded a failure and a loser for life, but little did I know that my downward slope just came earlier than everyone else's. And now, I bear the fruits of delight as I ascend in my life. Some people enjoyed an upward slope earlier, but bump into a downward slope now. I am very glad and relieved that my downward slope has ended since the start of this year and I have already begun to lead a life full of meaning and joys.

Am I really the Prince now? No. Not yet, anyways, though I could think of myself as one who leads the life of a prince right now. I just think that I am missing just one ingredient that could make me truly feel like a prince - to feel happier than happy. It is sweet. And it is loving. A dose of sweetness and another potion of love could certainly make me feel happier than happy.

Unfortunately, I dropped the sugar and spilled the potion of love on the way so I couldn't end this year feeling like a true Prince. Nevertheless, 2008 WILL always be remembered as the turning point of my life - the year that my life changed forever. I love you, 2008.

Btw, I am OH so flattered that everyone thinks I have a girlfriend. Well, my female cousin thought that I have a girlfriend even after I insisted I am currently single. And just today, my former classmate also thought that I have a girlfriend - that is, before I told her I am currently single. If only what they said was true, but no, I am currently single - which SUCKS. Oh, that depends on how you see it. Sometimes, being single has advantages. Now, who is the next person to say, "You have a girlfriend, right?" or to put it in its authentic form: "Ni You Nu Peng You Le, Right?"

GIRLFRIEND!?! Oh my, don't flatter me. Perhaps it's because of how much I have changed since ... ... Thanks for letting me know how much I have changed since, people.

I Just Want to be Happier Than Happy

Why couldn't I just feel happier than happy? Sometimes, this is all I feel.

In 7 Weeks' Time

Living is just like flipping a book. There comes a time when you are left with only a few pages to read and after the last page, there're only these 2 words: The End. And you know that another phase of your life has ended - memories of it sealed up in a time capsule and suspended in the realms of your mind forever - the memories it contains often recalled from time to time.

It's the time again where another time capsule is about to be sealed forever. And on that time capsule reads: MDIS. It wasn't too long ago that I began life in MDIS - in November 2007, to be exact. A mere 1 year and 3 months later, it is ending. Some beautiful memories it brought me, but it's all going to be over in 7 weeks from the time of this post.

It should have been over now, or rather, I would prefer it to end now. There doesn't seem to be any more objectives for me to fulfil in this phase of my life. I am attending classes now only to complete the 3 remaining modules and exams - really, there isn't anything more to fulfill. There aren't any more new friends to make nor is there anything to prove anymore. It's a fact of nature: If I am not conversing to the other people I see in the class now, I probably won't be conversing with them during the last 7 weeks. These are the people who I won't be seeing again forever after the 7 weeks are up. But for the people whom I have made friends with, I am glad to say that there are a few good close ones whom I hope to keep in contact with in the future. Surprisingly, there are a few more people whom I would still like to see after MDIS has ended though I aren't as close to them.

There's isn't any more I could prove here in MDIS. I came here to achieve something in life - to achieve something I have not tasted before prior: Academic results. Now that I have achieved that, are there any more objectives to fulfill? I came in thinking that I will just do as good a job as I can and ignore every other aspect of my life - well, just grab the results and go off. But I got more than I asked for - in a good way, of course.

If you have this particular impression of me now, you probably won't change the way you think of me in the last 7 weeks. I know I made a bad impression of myself when I first entered MDIS (perhaps carried over from my negative past), but I have seeked to constantly improve myself ever since and I am glad to say that people's impression of me have changed drastically over the months. If you still have a bad impression of me (for whatever reason), I don't think there's anything to make you change your mind during these 7 weeks. And if you have currently got a good impression of me, then I am happy. That being said, impressions have already been established in this phase of my life. Staying longer in the MDIS phase wouldn't change anything - there's no objective.

Truth be told, these 7 weeks are really just a waiting game. After such a fantastic period in MDIS, I feel that it's really time to move on - to meet new people, people who would appear in my next phase of life and to make new friends. It's time to move on to establish impressions with another new group of people. Being a person who constantly seeks achievements and objectives in life, isn't it time to move on so that there shall be new achievements and objectives to seek?

7 weeks wouldn't change anything. I could be wrong for life is incredibly unpredictable and full of surprises at every corner. I have achieved a lot within this year and phase, both primary objectives and bonus ones (the ones which I never thought would happen, but they did happen). I don't expect anything within these 7 weeks, but it's never wrong to hope for one last bonus thing to happen, right? One last bonus thing that I can take with me to my next phase.

Other than that, it's ripe for this phase to end now - it's ripe for MDIS to end and I will end it happily. 7 weeks aren't very long, you know? What could happen?