Life Is All About Achieving, Isn't It?

It seems that it has been a long time since my last update, but well, I was just too busy with my exam revision and all, and there didn't seem to be anything monumentally thought-provoking during the past few weeks. Well, too though-provoking enough to be written here.

But a couple of things which happened yesterday sent me into contemplation. You see, someone in my class has just gotten her driving license last week and just yesterday, I was reminded of it after she pulled out a spread of road map and enquired her friends about driving directions. Without doubt, she looked excited to be finally able to drive legally for the 1st time in her life. Well, who wouldn't? If I were her, I would too. In fact, her excitement was so obvious that I noticed it right away.

But that's not the point. Needless to say, I grew considerably envious of her - well, her driving license. Although it's understandable for me not to have a driving license since I just turned 18 and do not exactly have the financial power to pay for my driving lessons, I am still envy of others having a driving license. How great it would be to be able to drive? I want a driving license so badly, so imagine the 'urgh!' feeling within me when I see others, one by one, get theirs (although all of them who do get their driving licenses eventually are bigger than me in age).

Wait, that's still not the point. Getting a driving license, being happy about it and going all gaga over one's first attempt to be able to drive legally on the roads IS an achievement. Each achievement makes a person happy. And after seeing her getting all so excited, it set me thinking: Life is a never-ending spiral of seeking achievements, isn't it? We all want to be happy, but happiness is something that can be, if not soley, derived from achievements, so we (at least me) are constantly fueled by this want for achievement.

There are different types of achievements and I can see everyone seeking some kind of achievement. One person in my class seeks a desirable body by cosistently going to the gym to build up muscles, another seeks an achievement in music, while a handful seek an achievement in academic results. I, too, have a couple of achievements in my hands, but as always, I am never happy with my current achievements and the want to be happy constantly drive me to seek my next achievement. Achievement isn't only about being happy, it's also about being able to showcase to others, to tell others, "Hey, I have this!" And trust me, that feeling is GREAT. Some achievements are intangible, while some are tangible, and I especially like the later.

A statement made by my friend yesterday also provoked a great amount of thoughts in me. He said that there's not really any talent involved in being a model and that being a model is easy. I disagree with his statement.

Well, that should come as no surprise as I seek to be a freelance model. But more importantly, I feel that there's talent involved in being a model - it's just that the talent is an in-born one. What's the talent involved in being a model then? It's the looks; to be a model, you must be handsome or pretty and people must like how you look. To put it simply, you must look good. And that's no easy task as being able to look good and stand out from the crowd, to look better than others is no mean feat. I salute those who are models as they really have what it takes to be one.

I, for one, literally put aside a chance to be a model when an opportunity came a knocking on the door in August. All that was needed was an interview and some photoshoots and wala! I would be on my way. But there's a reason for putting down the chance because I didn't think I was good enough to compete with the many other models out there. I have seen other male models before in advertisements and magazine features and they are REALLY stunning. Oh, how is it possible for me to be one? It was a reluctant choice as I do really want to become a freelance model (one of my 3 ambitions), but I just needed time to make myself look better so that I can have more confidence in myself.

And now, after some work on my body, my goal of striving towards that 'more desirable body' is all the more possible. Call it wanting a more sexually desirable body or whatever, but having that would definitely make me feel really good - and hey, it's a tangible achievement as well - one that can be showcased. Admittably, I didn't have this goal when I began the year; it's only during the 2nd quarter of the year that I decided I WANT TO LOOK GOOD.

But looking good is difficult. It includes not only having a desirable hairstyle to match a desirably flawless face, but also having a desirable body - a hot bod, if you would call it. I want to constantly improve on my hairstyle and face, but the body's so difficult to improve as it requires a lot of effort to scuplt it into something desirable. And now, after the work on my body, it has made my task, or rather, my goal of having a more desirable body a whole lot easier. Now is the time I shall start to seek a new achievement: To have a desirable body and have it complement the hairstyle and face, driving me towards the goal of being a freelance model. I mean, the chance is already there, the doors are already opened for me to be a model - all I need to do is to make myself better before entering the door!

I shall leave that achievement (yea! To look better overall) to 2009 so that there's enough time to scuplt a more desirable body (gym!). In fact, thinking back, I have invested ENORMOUS amounts of time and money into this driving myself towards this achievement this year. I have put in lots of time going to the gym (the natural method), and I have even taken the artificial method (pills) as well - it's literally doing it from all fronts. And I expect these methods to pay off sometime - well, they MUST, don't they?

When I became qualified to be a lifeguard in 2005, it was an achievement. When I received my diploma certificate earlier this year complete with a impressive list of results (how could have I ever imagine this at the start of the year!), it was an achievement. When I have dropped 12kg since the start of the year, it was an achievement. When my life changed 360 degrees this year to become a more sociable one (and to have really good and nice friends), it was an achievement. When I experienced the sweet feeling of love for the 1st time this year, it was an achievement (though I would consider it minor since it didn't really affect my life in 2008 much). And there goes 2008 in a few weeks' time.

In 2009, I would continue the unfinished works of 2008 - that is, seeking my next achievement: to have a better overall look and be finally confident that I can be a freelance model! At the same time, I hope to achieve the same kind of results I had in Diploma in Advanced Diploma. After which, I would find new achievements to seek - the achievements of 2009. All achievements require effort and I am willing to put in effort to seek those achievements because achievements make me happy and there's a sense of satisfication. More importantly, life is a never-ending spiral of seeking achievements - to have achievements so that no one will look down on you, so that you will have something desirable, something unique that others don't. I personally am the competitive kind of person, so I would always like to better others if it is in my capability to do so.

Life is all about achieveing, isn't it?

Step of Sky

Miles of extension
The desolate moorland
A gleaming bright green

But only
For no birds are there
Not even an interesting stalk of flower

Rustle of grasses beneath as I stroll
Feeling good as always
But never perfect

Paroxysms of tension
I experience
As it all turns over

A step of sky
The desolate moorland
Now above

It’s real I know
It’s perfect I know
Belief I hold
A step of sky, always

But what if
It all turns back
To touch the desolate moorland my steps would
To soar beyond my reach the sky would
Perfectness I would not have
But feel good I still would

Mind I wouldn’t
A step of sky, always
Perfectness is omnipotent

One day
My heart may pull
And my tears may water the plants
Because I love a step of sky
__________________________________________________________

What this poem means:
We all love to be optimistic, don't we? I love to be optimistic. Yes, I do. Although I feel good about who I am and what I have right now, there's never a sense of perfectness. I love this sense of perfectness and that's why I tend to expect things - very good or sweet things, perfect things, of course. I know I shouldn't even be thinking this way: to expect the perfect to happen, but I just can't help it - getting that feeling of perfectness feels so great! Because of this, there were and are times when I would expereice a heartbreak or extreme sadness when things that I expect do not happen.

I am a person who always expect things. But I have to pay a price for that - that my heart may pull and that my tears may drop anytime. I just don't know when. But of course, if my expectations are reached, I would be one of the happiest persons. I have experienced times when my expectations were not reached and the feeling was horrible, but I have experienced times when my expectation were reached and the feeling was out of this world - yeah, I just kept on smiling and smiling and smiling.

I have 3 expectations/wishes left for this year. Yes, I want a step of sky. I would love these expectations to come true. Let's just hope I would be smiling by the end of the year. Please.
__________________________________________________________

101 Stupid Things - Music

The list of dumb things that happen is never-ending.

SINGING IN PUBLIC PLACES
I would be glad if these people could just keep their mouth shut - because they are such nuisances! From the China woman singing some old-school Chinese song loudly in the bus to the Filipino maid belting out 'Big Girls Don't Cry' - you name it, Singapore has it. Alright, I have to admit: They sing brillantly, BUT HELLO! I am trying to catch a wink in the bus and I am talking to someone on the phone! If you would like to sing, people, do it in your room, do it in your bathroom, and if you're really capable, sign up for one of those singing competitions and do it on TV, BUT just don't do it on the bus, on the MRT, in the MRT Station, or in the food centre!

WHAT!?! THIS IS A SONG?
New singers are coming in by the handfuls - so much so that the music industry is SUFFERING. Nowadays, there seems to be more piles of shit that are trying to intrude into my ears than melodies that I invite. But what's worrying is that some of these crappy music come from old-timers.

DUMB MUSIC TYPE 1: WHY IS IT THE SAME RHYTHM OVER AND OVER AGAIN!?!

Beautiful Future (Primal Scream)http://www.imeem.com/nightcap/music/32rAwVS9/primal_scream_beautiful_future/

How We Roll (Plushgun)
http://www.imeem.com/people/SLF0FIx/music/BsgE4DTu/plushgun_how_we_roll/

Valentine's Day (Linkin Park)
http://www.imeem.com/people/1YC6fq/video/UGWm_xGW/linkin_park_valentines_day_music_video/

I want to listen to real music, not a broken down radio replaying the same tunes over and over again! Sure, these songs are good - but only in the beginning. After a while, these songs start to wear off and they become really boring. Good for 1 or 2 listens, but I bet you wouldn't be interested the 3rd time around because the tunes are just too predictable.

DUMB MUSIC TYPE 2: PLAIN ANNOYANCE

Umbrella (Rihanna)
http://www.imeem.com/rihanna/video/O5s00UOD/umbrella_feat_jayz_music_video/

Abracadavers (The Classic Crime)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CDP6qHFKChc

A cacophony of sounds, I would say. What!?! This is music!?! Oh right, senseless rapping that has an unappealing tune and retarded shouting. Barely have I settled down before these irritating raps and bouts of annoying screams come at me - hey, these singers really sound like drunk, uncouth teenagers venting frustrations in the backalley!

101 Stupid Things

There are just some things in the world that are so stupid. But what's worse than that? You can't do anything about it! I shall share some of the stupid things that have the power to induce hair-tearing.

WAITING FOR THE BUS
Sometimes, the bus arrives quickly. But sometimes, the bus arrives late - very late. Just today, I missed a bus because the merciless morning traffic prevented me from crossing over to the bus stop. Guess what? The next bus only arrived a full 24 minutes later - more than enough to deprive me of my chance to have my breakfast before attending classes. Wait, didn't the news inform us that SBS Transit would cut down the frequencies of all bus services to less than 10 minutes (or 15; whatever because I can't recall the exact time) during morning peak hours? And that SBS Transit would be fined by the LTA if commuters waited more than that amount of time for a bus? Well, pile of crap.

I HATE WAITING. Waiting 24 minutes for a bus is just ridiculous. And speaking of waiting, why is SBS Transit's IRIS service only available to Singtel users? I am a M1 user and I too want to know when the next bus is going to arrive. If I had known that the next bus would be arriving in 24 minutes, I would have walked to another bus stop and taken alternative bus services. SHIT! Waiting 24 minutes for a bus is PLAIN RIDICULOUS!

WAITINNG FOR THE TRAIN
Alright, I should clarify myself now. I do have any problems with SMRT Trains, but I do have a problem with SBS Transit trains (yeah, those on the North-East Line). WHY DO I HAVE TO WAIT 6 MINUTES FOR A TRAIN DURING MORNING PEAK HOURS!?! This is retarded. On a sidenote, I would like to point out that if you transfer at Outram Park or Dhoby Ghaut from the East-West Line/North-South Line to the North-East Line, you would have to walk a long distance from one platform to the other. What a waste of time! Or rather, what poor station designs!

ORCHARD ROAD JUNCTIONS
Orchard Road possesses possibly the worst road designs in the world. WHY IS IT THAT THERE IS NO TRAFFIC CROSSING FROM TANGS TO SHAW HOUSE? Instead, I have to take the maze-like tunnels to get to Shaw House from Tangs and what's more, I have to jostle with the tons of slowpokes inside! It's a moronic road design, for sure. And if I do not want to take the tunnel, I would have to walk all the way to Far East Plaza and cross to bridge to the other side. What nonsense!

PLACES TOO CONGESTED
The Orchard Road tunnel is one of those places where you just want to bulldoze through everyone and YES, I do that sometimes. In times when you are hurrying for time because you're almost late, the slowpokes inside definitely frustrate me. The many 'performers' inside the tunnel only serve to exacerbate human traffic on the already narrow walkway.

SMOKING IN THE LIFT
DO SOME PEOPLE NOT UNDERSTAND THE NO SMOKING SIGN IN THE LIFT!?! These inconsiderate assholes have proved to be an annoyance. And I am left to smell that stinky shit from the cigarettes.

That's it for now. If I encounter more stupid things, I will certainly post them here.

The Night in Bed

The night in bed can mean many things to me. On a lighter note, the night in bed is the time when all the junk in my stomach gets digested and I drop the 1kg that I put on in the day guzzling food down. The night in bed is also the time when I drift off to dreamland with the help of the music playing from my MP3 player. Or I could be playing with my PSP till 2am in the morning before dozing off.

On a heavier note, the night in bed is the time when I contemplate about the day's happenings. Positive events (like events that are REALLY positive) could either set me smiling in my sleep or keep me awake all night and morning because I am just too happy and too hyped up for the next day to sleep. Negative events provoke deep thoughts inside me. And when there is neither something extremely positive nor negative, I tend to predict what will happen the next day (or perhaps what I would like to do the next day). You see, my mind is just like a computer processor: Zillion bits of information gathered from the day's happenings pass through my mind every night. Hey, what you call that? Yeah, reflecting on what has happened within that 1 day.

That is not to mention that I usually think of my introduction for my many game and movie reviews in my sleep! And the general structure (what I am going to write) for each article.

My night in bed is one complicated night indeed.

Busy Weeks

Whoa, it has been a little more than 2 weeks since the last post. Well, suffice to say that I have been really busy with my assignments - but alas, all the assignments have been handed in! And now, I have a little more than 1 month till the semester 1 examinations so I shall relax and enjoy while I can.

The past few days haven't been that nice to me what with assignment questions that were unexpectedly difficult. For the first time, I found myself procrastinating till a day before I was supposed to hand in the assignments - and as I typed on my keyboard, I could really feel the pressure - how horrible that was!

For the Public Relations module, the question was: Why I Have What It Takes to Have a Successful Career in PR. OH COME ON! I really don't give a damn about PR - because I hate it! PR is just SO complicated - it involves advertising, it involves marketing and what not - and I had and have a hard time figuring out WTH PR really IS! So imagine my horror when I have to write an essay with regards to the aforementioned. THIS IS BULLSHIT! I did manage to write some credible stuffs out afterall so it was quite a relief. BUT I really have no idea whether my essay is going to net me the marks I want or not. Let's just keep my fingers crossed.

For the Journalism Skills module, there were 5 questions to choose from - and all questions were laced with political materials save for question 2. OMG, I am I never going to survive this, I thought. I suck at politics writing - not because I can't write - but because I don't give a damn about politics as well and when presented with such questions, I didn't really have any idea on what to write - or even how to start, for that matter. So yeah, I did question 2, and I thought I did pretty good. Well, that was a close shave.

Assignments kept me busy. Yes, they did, but some great things also happened during my hiatus from this blog - things that kept me 'busy'. Well, busy in a good way because class was turning out to be interesting afterall (and when I say that, I don't mean the lecturers, but the new students). Open up some of the new students did and I realised that some of them are quite friendly. Not only are some of these new students friendly, but also easy to talk to because they just seem to 'click' so well with my friends and I.

At the same time, there was also a surprising turn of events that (while surprising) I TOTALLY did not see coming. You know what? I HAVE ACTUALLY STARTED TO LOVE GOING TO SCHOOL AGAIN!

Facebook: The Flaw

I didn't join Facebook until a few months ago - for reasons that I couldn't even identify myself. Prior to joining Facebook, I was exclusively on Friendster, but after months with Facebook, I found myself wanting to close my Friendster account - or do I really want to do that?

I apologise for the said statement. I don't want to neglect my Friendster account - not now - not yet. The thing is: As much as how Facebook is a great social networking tool today, and how it is so much better than Friendster as far as functionality is concerned, there remains some flaws in Facebook that make me want to storm the Facebook office and slap the developers of the application.

Beyond a shadown of doubt, Facebook is better than Friendster. There's a ton of applications, both first-party and third-party created, to toy around with (though 75% of them are RETARDED) when you are bored. And on last count, there are more groups created on Facebook than on Friendster, with the former having some really funky ones like "I Love Milo" and "I will pay anything for a good bowl of Laksa" to boot.

What's more enticing about Facebook, perhaps, is the all-interesting status updates, which allow you to see what your friends are doing at the moment, though not literally. And if they happen to be logged in onto Facebook at the same time as you, you can initiate an online chat with them (though that task is better serviced with Windows Live Messenger). All updates by your friends, be it new photos, comments, or profile changes would also be displayed on your Facebook homepage upon logging in.

But here comes the part where Facebook fails miserably. For one, the photo upload service SUCKS like piles of bull's vomit. You wouldn't be wrong to guess that I am utterly frustrated by Facebook's horrendous photo upload mechanics. Facebook takes a REALLY long time to upload photos and even fails to upload them successfully during some instances. That being said, you would be better advised to upload your photos one at a time onto Facebook rather than sending in a batch of more than 5 photos at any one time as it would only cause Facebook to freeze more often than not. THAT'S IT: Facebook's photo upload system is SHIT and that's probably the reason why you can only see 3 self-uploaded photos on my Facebook. I hate to upload photos on Facebook because it's so tedious - and need I remind you that the user interface is clunky.

My Friendster account still exists - thanks to its intuitive and friendly photo upload mechanics. It would be my wish to marry Friendster's photo upload services with the sheer functionality of Facebook - that'd be my idea of a perfect social networking tool. Until then, I would still keep my Friendster account running.